Psycho Mums

S was complaining to me about how she hates advice dished out by friends who are on different wavelength as her. S is a mother-to-be and she has been bombed by well-meaning advices from mothers whose lives revolve around their children.

I understand her predicament and anger. To us, being mothers or wives does not mean the end of you own life. Rather its incorporating the changes into your lives.

Some time ago, I was having lunch with a pregnant friend when she lectured me for being a "brainless, immature, irresponsible and selfish" being, just because me and The Husband spent X amount of money on something which she deem totally frivolous because "each penny spend now must be on the baby. Anything out of the context is simply selfish"

Despite me explaining (heaven knows why I bother explaining) that we do $$ set aside and we do save every month and we are not planning for a kid yet, she was blasting me throughout lunch saying "every cent counts for children. Now I don't even buy anything for myself. That is so thoughtless and selfish of you and your husband to spend that kind of money on this and that and this"

WTF

I seriously look down on myself for allowing her to hurl such abuses on me. The last straw was when she remarked : Aiya you are not a mother you won't understand. When you are one, then you will know.

Seriously, at that moment I had wanted to scold her all the hokkien vulgarities I learn from The Husband.

KNNCCB

Must be a mother then can understand? Does being non-mothers make us thoughtless, selfish and irresponsible? Yes, I've seen alot of people transform to "less selfish" people because they stop buying branded bags and instead spend it on clothes for their kids. Seriously, does that make the person less selfish? I don't think so. To be a truly selfless parent is one who devote time and love to their children and not measure it by $$ spent.

One woman at my marriage class made the same ignorant, stupid and downright no-brainer remark to me before:

W: Your cousin's baby very cute hor!
lotti: yah lor! but she very notti ah!
W *face change to horror*: Aiyoh she is only 1 years old leh! How can she be nottie? Aiya you are not a mother you won't understand lah! When you have kids then you will know lah! Kids are by nature active what! What a horrible thing to say!
lotti: I don't mean nottie in THAT way. I meant it in a cute way. Yah you are right, I'm not a mother I won't understand. I seriously don't understand why nowadays mothers are so uptight about their children.
*smile and walked off*

Chao bitch.

Me and S made a pact that we'll never become baby crazy when we become mums. She is now pregnant and heng, so far she is still very sane. Michey promised to smack us the moment we show signs of craziness.

I've decided to smack the next person who dare say the "You are not a mother you won't understand" or "When you are a mother, then you'll understand" thingy to me.

You have been warned!