The Tummy

I was just reading a friend's blog and she was lamenting about how people keep commenting about her "big tummy". She is 7 months pregnant now. All I can say is that, at least her tummy is BIG. Now, my tummy is big too, but unfortunately I am not pregnant and recently it has become a hot topic in my family.

A couple of months back, I fell very ill after a trip to China. It has nothing or rather everything to do with the food and hygiene. Due to the extremely smelly and dirty toilet, I refuse to pee. In order not to pee, I must not consume any water as long as I am not in the hotel. So lack of water and the huge spread of food (yah lah I eat too much!) contributed to my illness. Took me 4 weeks to fully recover from it. Must be the age. Hitting the big 3 this year. >_<

I went to our family doctor M for consultation. I was having very bad diarrhoea and after some tapping on my tummy, he concluded that I have gastric on top of other illness. I was describing to Mama about my gastric and how Dr. M diagnose me when Baba cleverly announce that maybe I was pregnant?

Baba: I think you are pregnant!

lotti: Dr M say its gastric lah!

Baba: Your tummy so big must be pregnant lah!

lotti: Pls lah! Which doctor check for pregnancy by tapping your stomach and not by looking at your pee?

Baba: .... I think you are pregnant. I go ask Dr. M.

lotti: Pls don't make yourself paiseh ok. Wait he give you sex education.

Baba: If you not pregnant then how come your tummy so big? Maybe got worms. Must go ask him.

Baba is one blur man. He can never tell a fat woman from a thin woman. That explains why over the years he had encouraged Mama who weighs 180 pounds to join Mrs Singapore *urgh*

However, eversince he got his CPF money, his eyesight has improved tremendously. So much so that everytime he meets me, topics are always revolving around my tummy.

Baba: wah lotti, you very fat leh. See the bui ba spilling out from your t-shirt. *hysterical laugh*

lotti: *quiet*

Baba: hey why you got so much bui ba ah? You put on alot of weight leh. So now you how fat ah? Wah really so fat leh. See your tummy here like pregnant lady leh! You pregnant is it? *poke my tummy hard

lotti: *quiet, looking annoyed*

Baba: Why are you so fat ah? You are really very fat leh! *laugh like siao lang*

lotti: *quiet and black face*

Baba: Hey you chao yi lang ah? I ask you why you so fat leh!

lotti: I'm fat lah! How I know!! *smoke coming out from ears*

Baba: *quiet*

Last night I stood sideways in front of the mirror. My tummy looks EXACTLY like a pregnant lady.

Maybe I'm really pregnant.

If not, how can anyone have such a BIG TUMMY!!!

*cry*